For a Friend
by Carrie H Potter
Summary: His musings on the role he will play in the war, which is greater than anyone knows. (one-shot)


**For a Friend**

**By: **Carrie H Potter

**Rating: **PG

**Genre: **Angst, Drama

**Summary: **His musings on the role he will play in the war, which is greater than anyone knows. (one-shot)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters. The story, however, is my

own, my _preciousssss_ (LOTR rocks!).

**A/N: **Here is _another _pathetic attempt on my part to write something other than light fluff. I haven't received a lot of reviews yet for The Good, the Bad, and Harry Potter so I don't know if I should continue on this drama rampage or not. I know it's short and doesn't really have a plot. I just figured that something like this could happen, and this is what I feel would go through the character's head if that was the case.

For a Friend 

I fear death greatly. It is no secret. I am not brave or strong or "Gryffindorish" as is expected of me. My friends pretend not to see it, and they go on living as they always have. They figure I'll eventually come around and get back to my old, cheerful self- obsessing over Quidditch, scraping by in classes, and dreading Divination- but I know I never will. My life is different than theirs because I have a secret, and it's slowly eating away at me.

I am told I am more powerful than I know, more powerful than the others thought. He says I will fight admirably and avenge my parents. But I do not care. I will do what I must so I can be done with this life and go join my parents in the afterlife. Sometimes I still can't believe they're dead. I just expect them to pop up one day at breakfast. I can't accept that they're gone and I'll never see them.

It's surprising that none of the rest of the school has noticed my odd behavior. It is quite a drastic change. I act so differently, all quiet and philosophical. But all remains normal- I still fight with Snape and Malfoy and defend my friends from them- all remains the same.

I think Malfoy might have noticed. I see him glance at me and then at my two best friends, and then back to me, a confused expression on his face.

They've started dating. Took them long enough. It was laughable that he thought she fancied me when she was so obviously in love with him. It _did_ hurt when she came to me seeking advice about what she should do to show him she cared. I won't deny that I've harbored more-than-brotherly feelings towards her for a while. But I'll get over it.

I have nothing to live for anyway. Which brings me back to my first point. I fear death greatly. I will not go in with my head held high to fight him. They will. He'll stand tall and proud with her at his side. Me? I'll shrink in the back round, afraid of what I must do.

I'm not a brave man. Ha. I'm not even a man, but a mere boy. I've not turned seventeen yet, but they expect me to act with more courage than someone of twice my years.

I have rambled long enough. Tomorrow I must die. It is either he or I. And it must be me for it will never be him. But beyond all of this- all the fear of death and the _surety_ of death and the wallowing in my own misery- something hurts most of all.

I know they talk about me. How they worry about me and talk about me when they think I'm not listening. They tell me that they understand, that they know how I feel. But they don't. _She_ has nothing to fear, for she is just a behind-the-scenes bookworm, and _him._ Oh, he thinks he knows. He tells me it's just as bad for him; the Battle will be the ultimate for him as well.

But he has _no_ idea. He has not made the decision I have. He is not about to give his life for another. He has not realized what his purpose is, like I have. You would think it was a hard decision, and even I thought it was. I spent hours thinking over my options. But now I realize that it _wasn't_ a hard decision. It's the easiest I've ever made. But he still doesn't understand. He's not about to take the Death Curse for his best friend, to buy him time to defeat You-Know-Who.

No. But that is what I must do. Funny, really, that in the end Ronald Weasley will be the one to save Harry Potter, the Boy-Who'll-Live-Yet-Again.

Because there is no better thing than to lay your life down for a friend.

_Fin._

**A/N: **So? What do you think? It was more of a train-of-thought type of thing. Please tell me when you review! Do you want anything else either for this story or along these lines? You BETTER review or I'll pelt you with treacle tarts!


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